On March 13, the British horror film «The Bayou» was released in theaters, in which a group of survivors of a plane crash will try to survive in the Louisiana swamps teeming with alligators. What kind of beast is this, this next one? a horror story about a fanged danger underwater and on land, as always, read the review below.
Pluses:
a few scenes with alligators that enliven the boring action; the reptiles themselves are drawn well, given the film's low budget;
Minuses:
is a completely failed movie in all respects;
«The Bayou»
Genre thriller, horror
Directors Taneli Mustonen, Brad Watson
Starring Athena Straits, Madalena Aragan, Elisha Applebaum, Mohammed Mansaray, Isabel Bonfrere, David Newman
Premiere movie theaters
Year of release 2025
Website IMDb
Kyle, a biology student, travels to Florida with her friends to scatter the ashes of her tragically deceased brother. The group begins the trip by car, and then, after reaching an inconspicuous airport, they join other passengers on a low-cost charter flight. But in the air, the plane suffers a mishap, and the unfortunate passengers crash right in the middle of the Louisiana swamp, where bloodthirsty alligators are waiting for them.
«The Bayou» starts as a standard B-movie action movie, when the special forces of the Drug Enforcement Administration cover a drug lab hidden somewhere in the dense forests. Over time, in every sense this fighting spirit comes to naught, and as the emissions of narcotic compounds saturate the waters where the predatory reptiles live, the viewer will gradually become more and more bored.
At the beginning, the hapless travelers will definitely stop at a gas station, and an experienced viewer will probably think that some neglected redneck grandfather is about to appear to give a line or two that will serve as a warning to the carefree students. And voila, just a minute later, such a character actually flashes in the frame. This episode characterizes perfectly the whole movie, with the caveat that it is not only painfully predictable, but also endlessly corny.
When the heroes take their seats on the plane according to the tickets they have purchased, and we get to know all the characters, it will not be difficult to guess who will be eaten first. Except for the very occasional second pilot, that’s exactly what will happen. You will also laugh, or, on the contrary, cry crocodile tears, if only because of the reason for the plane crash.
It’s better not to mention the interaction between the one-dimensional idols, their strange behavior, illogical actions, primitive dialogues, etc. — it’s so sad.
Based on this, if you moviemakers wanted to pump alligators with methamphetamine, or whatever those tough Louisiana drug dealers are doing, and build a story around it, you could make a lighthearted comedy trash in the spirit of «Cocaine Bear». In this kind of movie, absurd, wild situations, lack of common sense and obvious budgetary budget are not only allowed, but, with a competent approach, welcomed. Even in the mediocre «Lake Placid» there was a saving irony.
However, the filmmakers of «The Bayou», given the scarcity of creative imagination and resources to create their masterpiece, decided to play with serious, even dramatic cinema. With heartbreaking scenes of self-sacrifice, a tragic backstory of the main character and questionable relationship dynamics within the long-suffering team. To say that this approach turned out to be a mistake is to say nothing, it was so badly written and acted.
In those rare moments when local troublemakers do appear on stage, surprisingly drawn more or less decently, there is at least some tension. However, this does not save the situation. Despite all the desire to empathize with the seemingly doomed idiots, it’s impossible to do so, and some of them behave in such a way that you slowly start rooting for the reptiles. Honestly, it’s better to watch some «Crawl» with Kaya Scodelario than to waste time on this. At least there, the dynamics and tension were fine.
Overall, «The Bayou» doesn’t justify a single minute spent in front of the screen.
Its characters are empty, often stupid, and completely uninteresting, and its situations are completely devoid of suspense and absurd. Its localized title will surely make one laugh warlike alien, who did not flinch from competing with Schwarzenegger himself in the 80s. The movie doesn’t work as a survival movie, nor as a horror/thriller. And all this nonsense is presented with such a frown that even alligators on drugs are mostly sad.
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