Starting July 2, Netflix will be streaming the (pseudo)superhero (pseudo)action film «The Old Guard 2» — a sequel to the 2020 action film starring Charlize Theron as the leader of a team of immortal warriors. The plot of the film is based on the comic book series of the same name by Greg Rucka. This time, Uma Thurman takes on the team, who, for the sake of such a difficult mission did not miss the opportunity to dust off the sword that she probably got from the set of «Kill Bill». How exciting this on-screen antagonism looks — is described in the review below.
Pluses:
is a single scene where Charlize Theron's character travels through a corridor of long-gone historical epochs;
Minuses:
the movie consists entirely of solid minuses;
«The Old Guard 2»
Genre superhero action
Director Victoria Mahoney
Starring Charlize Theron, Kiki Lane, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Uma Thurman, Matthias Schoonerts, Marwan Kenzari, Luca Marrinelli, Veronica Ngo, Henry Golding
Premiere Netflix
Year of issue 2025
Website IMDb
The tough warrior Andromache of Scythia has lost her immortality, but not her fighting spirit. Together with her team, she continues to carry out dangerous missions for of mere mortals. But this idyll doesn’t last long because the heroine’s path to happy aging is blocked by new enemies. These are Andy’s old friend Quỳnh, whom her well-wishers have finally pulled out of the seabed and now she seeks revenge, and the evil woman Discord, the first true immortal with her own motives for her harmful behaviour.
It seemed that the film’s creators, which are series director Victoria Mahoney and screenwriters Sarah Walker and the author of the original graphic novel series Greg Rucka, had good cards to play. They had a fair amount of positive press for the first film (which was still rather mediocre), the curation of the almighty Netflix, and the «Oscar» winner Charlize Theron in the lead role.
The latter has long-established herself as a great action heroine. 20 years ago, a sci-fi mess called «Aeon Flux» was released, and even though it was a flop, Charlize was probably the only bright memory of it. 10 years ago, there was Furiosa, who literally eclipsed the main star of the show, Max Rokatansky, in the frame. Later on, — not indifferent to vodka «Stolychna» and Sofia Boutella’s Atomic Blonde — another character who came to the screens from the pages of a graphic novel, namely — «The Coldest City» by British Anthony Johnston.
But what Mahoney, Walker and Rucka definitely don’t have is a conscience, because to release such a talentless, helpless, extremely primitive and meaningless, deadly tedious movie is nothing more than complete and utter disrespect for the viewer.
The movie starts right off with a bang, and before we can properly recall all the characters, they are off to beat up the next bad guy without much explanation. At the same time, the fight scenes are ungodly chopped up by the editing, which is a bad sign, since this is usually the way to disguise a worthless production.
With their initial enthusiasm, the authors seem to be declaring that they want you to see what a cool movie we are offering you, how explosively we started, how well Theron and company kick useless extras, and generally how much fun we are having here.
But this fun quickly comes to naught, and then you have to prepare yourself for a red tape so boring and devoid of even the slightest sense. It would be right if Netflix paid subscribers compensation for wasting 100 minutes of their lives. The viewer is not immortal, and no one will give him or her this time back.
Dialogues about nothing are the main content of the film, which is rarely diluted by isolated fight scenes, extremely pretentious and far from the outstanding examples of the John Wick type. If you are one of those who complained about the fight scenes in the recent «Ballerina», you should look at «The Old Guard 2» (or «Shadow Force», or «Paradox Effect», or «Trigger Warning» etc.) and see for yourself what really bad action is.
In case someone expected that the filmmakers would show an action movie, you should know that the presence of this genre in the film is criminally negligible. That is, they wave their arms, axes and swords for 20 minutes, maybe 30. And they do it weakly, without zeal. Everything else is meaningless, empty talk that could kill you with boredom.
The pitiful performance of centuries-old idols is supported by a truly fantastic mythology related to the loss and return of immortality. Apart from the fact that this is an overly predictable move, it is impossible to explain in words, you have to see it. All this back and forth reminded me a lot of Alice with «Resident Evil» — she has superpowers, then they are taken away, then returned.
This, by the way, is connected to one extremely curious scene when two fighting maidens beat each other with such pathos that Van Damme in his best years with that unfortunate chopper never dreamed of. And when one of them realizes that her wound is not healing (oops), she resembles a small child who has had a toy taken away from her in the sandbox and begins to realize how cruel and unfair this world is. At the same time, her stunned opponent throws a ridiculous «sorry», which finishes off the already bewildered viewer.
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